Don't Worry. Be Happy.

I had a fight with a friend.
I had a fight with my mom.
I have too much homework.
I'm stressed.
I'm overwhelmed.
I'm sick.
I'm tired.
I'm moody.

Things happen that I don't understand.
Things get complicated for no reason.
Things hurt.
Things suck.

Life can suck at times. I find myself sitting and asking why? Why do things happen? Lately things have seemed to suck a lot more than they usually do and last night I was utterly overwhelmed. I wanted to sit and wallow in self pity. I wanted the world to know that I was having a sucky time. Instead of doing the one thing I should have, give over all my burdens to the only One who could truly take them off my shoulders, I decided to sit in a big puddle of crap and sulk and pout.

Abba Daddy wouldn't have that nonsense. Oh no. I imagine He was thinking something along the lines of "Baby girl, these are not your burdens to carry. Just give them up." And seeing I was too absorbed in wallowing in self pity, He used my friends to snap me out of it.

A good friend happens to IM me as I'm sitting and sulking. He actually was very unsympathetic to my pissy sulk mood and told me I was hardly happy anymore. I don't believe he meant to make me angry, but it pissed me off. I kinda exploded. I spilled everything that was on my heart. I sat at my computer crying out my problems onto the keyboard. With every key that I pounded I became more upset and more angry. I imagine from the outside it was a pathetic sight. After i had finished blubbering about my "crapstorm life" he decided to give me a slap of perspective. He told me to step outside and look in.

"So here's bree. She's dealing with a couple shaky friendships and she's overwhelmed because her schedule is filled and she has a lot to deal with over the next month." That's not so bad is it? It's not the end of the world. Time passes, you'll move past it and everything will be ok. Get up and dust yourself off. Keep going.

Being snapped into reality, I calmed down. I still held onto my self pity though. So what if I can handle it, I always get up and keep going. But that doesn't mean I have to be happy about it. His response:

Life is only as bad as you make it out to be. You need to have a "mind like water"

You're probably wondering just as I was what exactly that is:
"In karate there is an image that’s used to define the position of perfect readiness: 'mind like water.' Imagine throwing a pebble into a still pond. How does the water respond? The answer is, totally appropriate to the force and mass of the input; then it returns to calm. It doesn’t overreact or underreact. Anything that causes you to overreact or underreact can control you, and often does. Most people give either more or less attention to things than they deserve, simply because they don’t operate with a 'mind like water.'"

Ok. Things were in perspective. I was overreacting as usual. I knew I needed to stop wallowing in self pity and stop sulking and being so incredibly unhappy. But I felt unsatisfied. I wanted to know why. I'd deal with all the crap, but why. Maybe if I just slept on it...

Instead I decide to call another good friend. My first explosion about all the crap I was dealing with was apparently not enough. I had to verbally explode as well. So after about 10 minutes of my blubbering, my friend asked why I was so upset by all of it.

I don't understand why. I don't understand the purpose of me going through all this. The purpose of feeling a call to do something and after I do it there is a negative pointless outcome. I just don't see why!

So what does my friend tell me. Exactly what I needed to hear.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." [James 1:2-3]

I read this verse for the first time this past summer and it didn't really mean much. I've gone through so many trials this year that this verse has become a favorite of mine. It gives me hope, strength and the will to keep persevering.

My friend proceeded to tell me that if I really wanted to know why things were happening I needed to go to the One who took my burdens and ask Him.

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." [James 1:5]

Ok. So God was slowly pulling me back into His arms. I really needed to just go to Him. But my friend was not finished. He decided to remind me of something very wise he had once shared with me before.

Things that happen in our life are similar to stars. When a star is born out in space, it is a long time before we see the light that star gives off. God does things in our life to set us up for His glory to be brought about later. We don't always, actually hardly ever, know exactly what God is doing things or for what purpose he does them. But God does not do things without purpose. And at some point or another the light from the stars that he forms in your life will shine, and you will be overjoyed when they do.

God is defintely forming some hardcore stars in my life this year, and even though I can't see the light yet, I am ok with that. Because I know at some point or another my life is gonna be full of bright light, God's glory. And that. That is what I long for-- my life to be full of God's glory.

Ok so lesson learned story over right? Wrong. God was not done yet. I wake up at an ungodly hour of 7:00 this morning to go write an article. I'm sitting there with yet another good friend and out of no where she whips out "My Utmost for His Highest" and reads todays devotional.

"'The cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches and the lust for other things will choke out the life of God in us. We are never free from the recurring waves of this invasion. If the frontline of attack is not about clothes and food, it may be about money or the lack of money; or friends or lack of friends; or the line may be drawn over difficult circumstances. It is one steady invasion, and these things will come in like a flood, unless we allow the Spirit of God to raise up the banner against it. 'I say to you, do not worry about your life . . .' Our Lord says to be careful only about one thing-our relationship to Him. But our common sense shouts loudly and says, 'That is absurd, I must consider how I am going to live, and I must consider what I am going to eat and drink.' Jesus says you must not. Beware of allowing yourself to think that He says this while not understanding your circumstances. Jesus Christ knows our circumstances better than we do, and He says we must not think about these things to the point where they become the primary concern of our life. Whenever there are competing concerns in your life, be sure you always put your relationship to God first.'Sufficient for the day is its own trouble' (Matthew 6:34). How much trouble has begun to threaten you today? What kind of mean little demons have been looking into your life and saying, 'What are your plans for next month— or next summer?' Jesus tells us not to worry about any of these things. Look again and think. Keep your mind on the "much more" of your heavenly Father (Matthew 6:30)."

I hear you God. "Don't worry. Be Happy, in Me."